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“Jeez Paddy, ye frightened the livin bejasus out of me”, says an obviously embarrassed Mick, “but me and the Missus been having some trouble lately in the bedroom department, and the Therapist suggested I do something sexy to a tractor.I took a bird back to mine for sex last night. After some complaints for the first five minutes like,”Stop, you’re too big!” And,”Please No, you’re really hurting me now!” The fat cow eventually rolled off me and let me go on top.As I staggered into the living room and sat down on the sofa, my wife looked at me and said, “Can you not just go out and have a couple of fucking drinks?”“Of course I can,” I replied, standing back up. “Just let me get my coat.When my precious little dog fell in the river Mersey, a German tourist jumped in the freezing water and saved him.Upon getting back on the pier, he checked my puppy out and said, “Ze dog is ok, he vill be fine.”Out of curiosity I asked, “Are you a vet?”He replied, “Vet? I’m fuken soaked!I have realised. ..... After about a month Mom started acting weird. never going out, telling her friends she never wanted to see them agian. she became a hermet and pulled me out of school telling them she was going to home school me. And then she started drinking hard.One night after a an all day binge Mom was very angry she said to me all men are assholes and so are you boy maybe I should have had a girl insted, or maybe I'll just make you my little girl, and then it all started. Mom took me to her room and pulled off all my clothes, she then went to her closet and picked out a pink baby doll nighty and put it on me. She was drinking gin stright out of the bottle and only getting worse. she looked at me and said now your going to be my little girl whore, I'll teach you to look like a girl, act like a girl, and want to be a girl just like yuour fucked up father. Mom put strap on high heels on my feet and led me to the bath room were she applied make up to my face, I already had long hair and she.
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